party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my vagina is haunted
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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