Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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