I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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