I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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