You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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