i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
