Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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