my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
