Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
