Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
