So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
