My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
