You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
