whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
