Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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