It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
