playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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