how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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