Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
