you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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