This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize