it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
