yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
