Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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