i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Randomize