I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
