a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
did i walk over a car last night?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize