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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  ... oops

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• (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..

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