i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
