No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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