he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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