dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
