Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
