Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
