I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize