A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize