I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
