so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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