you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
