I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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