so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize