when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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