I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize