You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
