I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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