the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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