So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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