it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
