I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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