i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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