Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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