the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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