STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
